


Simulation #1

by allofmeisfake



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Crack, Don't Judge Me, F/F, Gen, Humor, Parody, Sexual Humor, Why Did I Write This?, literally just 700 words of nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 18:19:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11190681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofmeisfake/pseuds/allofmeisfake
Summary: Or, How Samaritan found out about Shoot and Martine totally shipped them.





	Simulation #1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone :) This is my first work, but please DON'T be too nice in the comments. I'd rather recieve feedback that tells me what I can improve next time, so don't be shy! :D  
> #ShootForever

“Sir”, Lambert said through his earplug, with an unusual smirk in his voice, “I think you should see this.”

 

It’s a shame Mr. Greer couldn’t be here for the first experiment on their little guinea pig. Some idiots had accidentally fucked something up on the computers and he had to leave when they were halfway through the simulation and fix it. Of course, they couldn’t just abort, so it was Lambert and Martine who played the babysitters for the sociopath.

 

“What’s the problem, Lambert? Is our new patient being violent again?”, Greer asked.

 

“Well, you could definitively say so, sir”, he indicated. 

 

“Ms. Rousseau, since Mr. Lambert doesn't give meaningful answers, I need you to tell me what is going on.”

 

Martine, eyes glued to the screen, replied, “Sir, is there any chance that… we missed something… I mean… what do we know about Shaw’s, I mean… personal life?”

 

“Specifically?”, Greer inquired.

 

“What do we know about… her love life?”, Martine responded, and, before he could answer, she added, forcing herself not to grin, “Even more specifically, what do we know about her sex life?”.

 

“About her… Martine, what is going on in the simulation?!”

 

“Believe me, you don’t want me to describe it to you, sir”, she answered dryly, still focused on the big television in front of her.

 

After a few seconds of silence on the other end, Martine and Lambert heard him say, “I guess I’ll join you to watch our new guest… interact and get a picture myself”, and he hang off.

 

* * *

 

 

When Greer made his way into the room he had left Ms. Shaw and his assassins in, he noticed that most of the people had left their computers. The entire floor was practically empty, which meant no work was being done. I hope they have a good reason, he thought.

 

He pushed the door open, only to see that the workers that had been missing from their desks were all gathered here. Because of the big crowd in such a small room, the air was very thick but it smelled also like something unforeign… popcorn.

 

“What the hell-”, he initiate, but his voice faded immediately when his sight caught what was happening on the screen. So that was what Lambert meant by “violent”.

 

Everyone had just noticed that their boss had arrived, and they stared at him, waiting for him to go on.

 

After he had collected himself, Greer continued. “I am paying you for taking over the world, not for watching adult movies during working time. If I see this again happening with you, any of you”, he emphasized on “any” and looked at Lambert and Martine, who lowered their gazes ashamedly, “You will have to expect consequences”.

 

Now everyone in the room was quiet, except for the moans of Ms. Shaw and the heavy breaths of her lover (Who, they had already found out, was a woman named Root).

 

“So what are you waiting for? Go and return to your workplaces!”, he instructed. The people quickly rushed out of the room, not saying a single word. “Oh, and leave the popcorn here”, he added, and the guy who had been holding the bagful of Crazy Popz handed it to him, not daring to look up when he passed by him in the doorway.

 

Martine and Lambert were also about to escape, but Greer hindered them. “No, not you two. You stay”, he dictated. The operatives turned back, Lambert still trying not to crack up and Martine looking like a five-year-old being caught doing something it wasn’t supposed to do.

 

“Sir, I’m so sorry, I-”, she began apologizing, but Greer cut him off. “Get me a chair”, he demanded. Martine was so surprised by this reaction, she didn’t react immediately.

 

“Do I have to ask again? Quick, otherwise I'll miss the performance.”

 

Nodding her head, she got up and grabbed a plastic chair from the nurses’ room next-door.

 

Without a word, Greer sat down next to Lambert, and gestured for Martine to do so too.

 

“You missed the best part”, Lambert informed him. “Scissoring”

 

“No, the best part was definitively when Root ate Shaw out”, Martine argued and took a handful of popcorn.

 

“Well, I’m glad I at least get to watch the… whatever it’s called what they are doing right now”, Greer said. 

 

“It’s called 69-ing, sir”, Martine announced swotty.

 

“What a pity the simulation is over soon. Sir, when it is, will we have time to watch the second one today?”, Lambert asked hopefully.

 

“Don’t worry, Mr. Lambert”, Greer smirked, “we have all the time in the world”.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it although it was very dumb and probably OOC.  
> If you have any, I'd appreciate ideas & prompts what you would like to read next.  
> Byeeeeeeeeeee :P


End file.
